Spring is in the air

My Mom is really enjoying her new place in a warmer climate, and is happily emailing me and the sibs with little tidbits of her warm days. Then we got this one that led to the most family conversation the four of us have had all at once in a long time.

Mom: This lil apartment is kinda cool - I can watch a Robin 6 feet away ... no cat around apparently ... saw a lightning bolt hit within a few blocks the other night - we could use some more rain though. However, the hills are greening, leaves are coming out, trees are BLOSSOMING, weather is PLEASANT!! Ahhhhhh.
You know when Homer Simpson sees a big donut that makes him drool, and he goes "Ahhhhhhhh" all orgasmically? That's how I am with trees that bloom!!!

Brother: How come you didn't send this note to any of your sisters? Don't they want to hear about your orgasmic groaning?

Me: I was cringing! I didn't need to know about that part! **shudder**

Sister: hmmmm my mother doing anything orgasmically.....*shudder* thanks. that thought will keep me sleepless for weeks.



Some days I miss having mom living close by... this is NOT one of those days! LOL

Here I am. I think I'm here. I think, therefor I'm here?

Eeeek! Where has the time gone?

So many times I've thought "Oh I should remember to blog that" or something similar.

Oh, right.... I've been sucked into the scary world of procrastination combined with some ugly ugly pms.

Right. *shudder*

Midol saves my marriage by the way. I should buy shares.

Yesterday I signed up again for the Flylady emails. I know that having routines will help a lot. I never truly adjusted from being a work-at-home-mom to having an outside job and a house in chaos from moving and basement finishing and still-trying-to-have-a-life.

Before moving I had a dayhome for 5 years. Flylady made all the difference in it being successful. I miss it, although I'm starting to wonder if it's the actual dayhome I'm missing, or the routines that made it work well so-that-I-still-had-a-life that I'm missing. I try thinking about that, but then I'll get side-Oh look a butterfly!

Yup. I need to fly again.

Here's to new beginnings. And a reminder to keep humour in life. And how something as normal as reading the funnies can trigger a little insight into life and helping one figure out why you're ticked off at mom (again... *eye roll*)

So Mother. Dh and I do talk about what we might do in the future, because we actually believe we have a future together. I love you too, but shut up already. Really, I mean it.

It's called love Mother. Deal with it.

Mom's Sheppard's Pie

A friend's post told a story of a recipe that she got from her mom that she now makes for her family. That got me thinking of what recipe of my mom's do I make with some measure of skill.

Sheppard's Pie is that recipe. I had no idea growing up that she used leftovers, but once I learned that my cooking actually improved. Who knew? Of course she made other good dishes, and we were all pretty good at eating them but there was the time she tried serving escargot to us... can't see that being a tradition here, but it's something to tell the kids:

"You don't like my cooking? Have I ever told you how Nana fed us snails? You will eat your dinner and thank me for it mister... or I'll pull out Nana's cook book!"

(Do I hear a whisper of "There are starving kids out there who'd love to have half this much food")

Yup, bribery and threats. Do I know how to parent or what?

Mom? Fess up. Are you there?

I introduced my mom to the world of blogs yesterday. Not this blog though. This blog is for me. Some things you don't want to share with family. Especially when you have a sister with a steel trap memory who will never let you forget that day that... well, that's a different story.

Since she's moved, now she and I and my sibs are in 4 different cities. We do the group email thing but it can get confusing, so I set up a simple blog for our family and gave us all posting privelidges. Thought we could try that out, then everyone can get the info and post comments to reply, and things don't get lost in the jumble of email.

That's the thought anyways, we'll see if it works.

So, mom played with it a bit, then posted that she thinks she made herself a blog too. Then she typed "I might just be talking to myself"

Huh? Hey, that's my line!

So Mom, if you're here, are you reading this? Was that your subtle hint that you stumbled on my alter-ego blog? TELL ME! Don't make me whine until you break down! 'Cuz I put might put something here that's not mom-friendly you know. Well, fine for other moms, just not my mom. Nothing too freaky, just something like #100 on this list. Or then there was this moment.

Either my mom is reading this, or I'm much more like my mother then I realized.

Either way, I'm a little scared.

Parents

I went out for coffee with a long time friend who was in town for a couple days. We had a lot of catching up to do, and never get to see each other one-on-one very much, so this was a very intense visit I realized afterwords. I'm really glad we were able to get together.

At one point, the talk turned to each of our parents divorces. Mine was almost 20 years ago, and when things were a mess at home, I moved in with her family for about a month. I remember thinking how no matter what screwed up things my parents were doing, at least her parents still had it together, and my whole world wasn't falling apart.

Fast forward about 10 years... she just moved back home after completing her degree, her sister was getting married and her parents were splitting. How I wish I could have been there for her! There were so many similarities: neither of us had any idea anything was going on, both had unfaithful parents, it happened in our little hometown where everyone else knew, in hindsight there were little things that should have set of some kind of warning, but we were totally oblivious to, the 'other person(s)' were people we knew and saw regularly...

I wish we had more time to talk, because I know even after all this time we each are feeling the pain and the hurt and the betrayal. Talking to a therapist is one thing, but sharing with someone who has been in the same place I think can help so much with coping and moving on, really knowing that you're not the only one to have to go through this.

I heard once that the younger a child is when their parents separate, no matter what the circumstances, the easier it is for them to deal with it. I was 17 and my brother was 7, and to this day we have totally different views of how things happened. To him, it meant he'd have two bedrooms and twice as much lego. To me, it was the end of the world. When I met my future husband and things were getting serious and we got engaged, the wounds were still fresh enough that I was so worried that it would happen to us too, no matter how much love we felt for each other. To this day, when life is really stressful and I get severe anxiety, this is what I worry about - even though there is no reason to. Moving back closer to home brought up all sort of feelings that I didn't realize I hadn't dealt with even though so much time has passed. Almost 20 years, and it can still bring me to tears, but only if I let it.

I'm going to send a note - a real one, not an email! to my friend and let her know that I'm here for her now, and how good it felt to have someone to talk to. I love my dh, and I do share with him, but it's not the same because he hasn't been through it. He's wonderful about it, and he says the right things, but I think, I know, I hold some things back because I don't want to scare him that I could follow in my parents footsteps.

That's what scares me the most.